Although I’m glad that a lot of people in my generation have the mindset of: ‘When I get married, I’m never getting a divorce’. I would also like to clear up a few things.
Disclaimer: I’ve never been married, nor do I have a marriage-counseling license or what-have-you, BUT my parents are still together, I’ve been in 2 solid relationships (both long-term), and I’ve gained some biblical wisdom on the matter, so I’d like to think what I have to say counts for a little something, but you can also take it with a grain of salt. With that being said, like I previously stated, I think it’s admirable that a lot of people in my generation not only want to commit to marriage, but also want to commit to making their one-day marriages last, but I do want to reiterate that it’s not easy. It obviously takes more doing than talking. If my memory serves me correctly on the stats, over 50% of U.S marriages end in divorce. Do those marriages end because the couple has one bad argument and calls it quits? Although it’s possible, it’s highly unlikely that that’s the cause for so many divorces. I say this because I feel the dating culture in this country makes it much more difficult to be trained to endure all the trials that marriage undergoes. Dating trains us to think that if a person doesn’t match our vision, or if we have a few quarrels with them here and there, we should deem them incompatible with us and toss ‘em out. It’s HORRIBLE training for marriage, because you can’t just toss out your spouse when you argue about way more important things than whatever you and your boyfriend/girlfriend may argue about. Then there are those that have characteristics and habits that aren’t, under any circumstances, acceptable for marriage, such as being a habitual liar, cheater, etc…It’s awesome that these folks still consider marriage, but if you don’t break those habits, it will follow you even up until then; even if you’re madly in love with that person.
I didn’t give any legit advice, and I didn’t really plan to since everyone is different. I will say this though: I’m sure marriage will never be easy (no matter who you are), but your main objective is not to avoid divorce. Your main objective is to love your spouse. Don’t marry someone because it’s convenient. Marry them because you are equally-yoked and you LOVE them. Love is the center of it all, and God is love. When you go forth in love, it will be very difficult for you to cheat on, lie to, be disrespectful towards, belittle, embarrass, and be spiteful against your spouse. It will be very difficult to let pride or jealousy or your past get in the way…IF you LOVE them. Notice I said “very difficult” and not ‘impossible’. That’s because it’s not enough to exhibit the LOVE emotion. You have to actually put in the conscious effort to be good to your spouse and stray from anything that will cause you to do otherwise. You have to BE INTENTIONAL.
Anyway, I honestly didn’t anticipate this to be very lengthy. Just wanted to drop a little knowledge and help someone out. I ain’t nobody, though. Lol.
I have a few close friends, but only maybe 2 people that I could even really put in the category of “best-friend”…and of them is my boyfriend. But if I could create a best-friend, or build-a-best-friend (if you will), these are the characteristics I’d give them or how I would make them to be. Mind you, some of these may be a little shallow, but this post is all fun. :)
- Is female.
- Same age, or just about.
- Is not only Christian and active in her walk with Christ, but serves as an accountability partner — if you see me slipping in my walk with Christ, I’d want you to correct me in love. You’re not my friend, let alone my best-friend if you just watch me destroy my spiritual life.
- Around the same size/height/shoe size as me so we could share clothes/shoes if an emergency arises, or just because (haha).
- Is Nigerian (preferably Igbo) and can somewhat speak the language, like me. Speaking English all the time gets a little boring, lol.
- Is intelligent, uses grammar correctly, and likes to read (or at least doesn’t mind reading). I like to send people articles, and it stings a little when they’re not as interested as me, lol. :/
- Keeps it 100!
- Can sing! We could be like ‘VanJess’ and do cool duets, together. Knowing how to play an instrument would be a plus, too! Lol.
- Is honest, loyal, trust-worthy, dependable, caring, and just a clutch individual overall!
- Can do hair! Lol. I like to change my hair often, and it would simply be nice to have someone close to me that is good in that area. I’m just sayin’! :)
Okay, that’s the gist of it, lol.
